It’s freaking cheap! Where else can you rent a condo a block from the beach for $500 USD!

You can buy a teenie tiny chip for your XBox that gives you 300 games for like $30 dollars.

Pizza comes with pineapple on it.

Hamburgers come with pineapple on it.

A maid is 54 pesos an hour- less than $5 USD – and she will bring you a 3 milk cake and a present for your birthday.

Your Mexican income tax bill for the year is $80 dollars.

Beautiful sunsets every night.

Shrimp and seafood are one of the cheapest foods you can eat in Puerto Vallarta.

I moved to Puerto Vallarta from the U.S. almost 2 years ago and it has been quite the experience. I’m planning to move to Cabo in a few months, which got me to thinking… “if I’d known then what I know now…” Well, it certainly would have made the move easier. So here are a few of my tips for moving to Puerto Vallarta:

Tips for moving to Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco, Mexico from the United States.

A few things I wish I’d brought when moving to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico:

Electronics, books, and computer software. Electronics are easily double or triple the price in the US. This includes computers and pc accessories, cell phones, stereos, TV’s, etc. Even paying for shipping, you will save a significant amount of money compared to the price of purchasing new electronic equipment in Puerto Vallarta.

Books and magazines in English- Shape magazine is $9… if you can find it. Books are nearly impossible to find.

Software- really expensive, hard to find, or pirated copies poorly disguised as the real thing. Really best to purchase before moving.

I also wish I would have brought a dehumidifier- they are impossible to find here but you will be grateful if you have one. I lost an entire closet of designer clothing to mildew, even with the moisture absorbers.

Cosmetics and beauty products. Quality American cosmetics and beauty products are not available in Puerto Vallarta. Occasionally you will luck out and find Neutrogena, but it’s possible that was a one time occurrence. For example: Walmart now carries a few John Freida products- never more than 5 or 6 on the shelf and it sometimes takes a month for restocking. Also, keep in mind that most beauty products here are stocked with locals in mind- if you’re looking for blonde hair dye, you won’t find it easily!

Linens here are stiff and hard. If you’re used to top of the line Egyptian Cotton, bring it with you!

Furniture in Puerto Vallarta is almost always hard and uncomfortable; beds, chairs, sofas- all worth importing or plan a trip to Guadalajara for furniture shopping.

And finally, a car. I purchased a Jeep Cherokee here for about $2,000 more than it would have been in the states… and this was after they came down on the price! If you can drive a car or have it brought down, it’s worth it. Depending on the year of the vehicle, you will have to pay an import fee and register it here, but this with the price of the trip will still be less than if you buy something locally. If you must purchase your car here, try have a local friend help you out- they’ll know where to take the car to have it checked out, what questions to ask regarding import/registration fees already paid, and of course, help lower the price.

What I could have left behind in my move to Puerto Vallarta:

What I could have left are most of my designer clothing and high heels- cobblestone streets ruin shoes and humidity eats fine fabrics. It’s not uncommon to go to your closet and pull out a shirt with mildew on it after even a week.

If you’re not too attached, there’s no need to bring decor items- the art scene here is one of the best in Latin America and plenty of international decor stores and boutiques.

Advice for preparing to move to Puerto Vallarta- about the actual move, choosing a neighborhood and finding a home?

There are a few neighborhood guides online, including on insidepv.com, with pictures and video of the areas. It’s relatively easy to choose where you want to be, because Puerto Vallarta is divided into 5 distinct areas- Marina Vallarta, The Hotel Zone, Centro (Downtown) , Old Town (Zona Romantica) , and Conchas Chinas to Mismaloya area which covers the crescent beaches that stretch south of Puerto Vallarta.

The marina is pricey, surrounded by a golf course and yacht slips, fine dining and art galleries.

The hotel zone is a strip of resorts and modern shopping centers. These two areas resemble southern California or Florida.

Centro is downtown Puerto Vallarta where the famous malecon (boardwalk) is located- loud, popular with tourists, fast paced.

Old Town Puerto Vallarta is slower paced, trendy, more traditional with cobblestone streets, residences, bars/clubs, and endless boutiques- this is also the popular gay area and has become quite stylish.

Conchas Chinas to Mismaloya is the area south of Puerto Vallarta. Known for the “crescent beaches” this area is lush in tropical foliage and lined with villas and luxury condominiums overlooking private beaches and the ocean.

We’re in the process of adding videos and photos of each of these areas but some are already posted in the photos and videos section of Inside PV.

What I miss after moving to Puerto Vallarta:

What I wouldn’t give for mayonnaise without lime in it, crunchy peanut butter, and organized grocery stores.

Things to expect if you move to Puerto Vallarta:
When the phone company says they’ll be there Thursday, notice they didn’t say which week. If they said before noon, notice they didn’t say which day. When they don’t show, don’t be surprised when they say, “We had to reschedule” even though they never let you know. In other words- expect no schedules, poor customer service, and a very relaxed attitude regarding matters you thought were important. For most of us, it doesn’t take long to get used to.

Tipping- grocery store bag boys will count the tip you hand them before thanking you. In the states, this would be considered extremely rude- here, I find it amusing and cute. Go figure. Taxi drivers, bartenders, and waiters too will do this, although not in fine dining restaurants such as La Palapa and Cafe des Artistes where the staff actually take courses to learn American culture (as well as about fine wines, cigars, presentation and English.)

Things that will shock you for the first six months:
Chickens and other farm animals on buses. Bus drivers that stop in the middle of their route to do their grocery shopping (leaving passengers waiting patiently on the bus.) Naked mannequins getting into bed in a department store window display for Valentine’s Day. Oh, you know what, this could take a while. I think I’ll make thise one a whole new article!

Things That Will Shock You for the First 6 Months of Living in Puerto Vallarta

Chickens and other farm animals on buses.

Bus drivers that stop in the middle of their route to do their grocery shopping (leaving passengers waiting patiently on the bus.)

Naked mannequins getting into bed in a department store window display for Valentine’s Day.

Grocery shopping: Buying eggs in a bag- I still plop them on the counter, forgetting they’re not in a carton. Mayonnaise mixed with lime- the only mayonnaise you can get here. No crunchy peanut butter and only one brand of regular peanut butter in the Puerto Vallarta grocery stores. Pudding is not kept with Jello. Prices for products in the “American Section” are twice as much as 2 aisles over. The same product is located in 4 different places throughout the store- all with different prices.

The price for a taxi is $5 dollars cheaper when you ask in Spanish.

Go to walmart to buy a frying pan- they have 40 of the same 1. You ask the salesperson when they will get more and he says “next year.”

Geckos walking around your living room. Leave them alone- they eat mosquitoes. Gecko Warning: They like sugary cereals, so keep it in tupperware or you’ll have a bowl of Frosted Gecko cereal.

The bus will take a “shortcut” to avoid traffic… causing you to miss your stop.

In downtown Puerto Vallarta, the local funeral home closes off one of the busiest streets (the street that directly turns onto the highway) near the malecon so the grieving family can sit out in the street in plastic white chairs. Thousands of buses, cars, etc are backed up, and quietly and respectfully detour around the street.

Milk – Puerto Vallarta has two kinds of milk- regular and light. Light tastes like 2% in the states and they don’t have it everyday.

Television: A preview plays for the exact movie/show you’re watching, during it’s own commercial break. The same 4 shows play back to back for a 24 hour period. The same episode of Everybody Loves Raymond plays for 3 months.

Don’t be surprised if you’re standing in a grocery store line and a lady passes you her baby while she fishes around in her purse to pay. Likewise- locals think nothing of picking up a child or baby that is not theirs. I almost fell over when I went to a soccer game and one of the players came over and handed me an 8 month baby boy to watch while he played!

A local taco stand also sells bras and key chains.

Mexican home remedies offered by my husband’s 90+ year old Mexican grandmother: A boiled avocado pit is the local aspirin. Spit on the feet, wrap in socks when you have a cold. Bronchitis or flu- massage. Baking soda, lime, salt mixed are used instead of alkaseltzer.

Traditional Mexican foods the locals eat here: Instead of spaghetti sauce, the locals like to mix their pasta with mayonnaise (BLEH!) Corn with mayo is another favorite.

Old milk is not thrown away- when it’s good and rotten, they mix it up like cottage cheese and eat it- it has a name which I’ll write as it’s pronounced rather than massacre the spelling: ho-ko-kee.

Pizza is topped with ketchup.

Sushi is served with jalepenos soaked in soy sauce instead of wasabi. Or… served with salsa and a tortilla. Yep, it’s happened.

Around Halloween, they put 2 or 3 pumpkins out at the store for Americans to buy and mark them “Halloween” so they’re not bought to eat by the locals.

The local chihuahuas walking down the beach wearing heavy turquoise jewelry.

Very, very large European men in Burberry bikini bottoms sunning on the beach. With or without rear end implants.

A Thanksgiving Turkey is $80 USD. A can of Cranberry sauce is $4 USD. A pint of ice cream is $8 USD.

Traditional bullfights or corridas de toros are presented regularly each Wednesday at La Paloma in the Hotel Zone area, before the Marina. Though certainly not for everyone, bullfighting is a tradition taken seriously in the Latin culture and with a great deal of pride by those involved. Matadors appear in the decorative “suit of lights” or the sparkling costumes they wear to confront the bulls. The performances are colorful, but first-time visitors should know that it always ends badly for the bull.

Bullfighting season begins in November and lasts through April, every Wednesday at 5 p.m. at the La Paloma stadium. The stadium is located directly across the highway from the town pier. Tickets are approximately $25, and can usually be arranged through concierge services or travel agents, as well as in person.

Tips: One side of the arena is particularly shady for those who want to avoid baking in the sun while watching the performance.

Depart from Puerto Vallarta and soon stop for a traditional Mexican breakfast in Rincon de Guayabitos.  Continuing on, pass through lush vegetation surrounding secluded towns, small fishing villages, and scenic farm fields.   An informative, bilingual tour guide will provide background information for each area, and provide numerous opportunities for photo stops.

Upon arriving in San Blas, travelers are taken on a 10 mile boat ride to the Mangroves Swamp to visit a crocodile farm where your tour guide will provide details on the local crocodiles, bird species, and other wildlife in the area.

Afterward, a visit to beautiful San Blas is your next stop.  Take pictures of the unique town, including famous sites such as the old Cathedral and the Spanish Fort of San Basilio- a true tribute to Spain and Mexico’s history together.

After a full day of sightseeing, the tour stops at a restaurant in Batanchen Bay for traditional Nayarit fare before heading back to Puerto Vallarta.   The perfect ending to an exciting, enriching vacation tour.

Huichol Indians Air Tour from Puerto Vallarta

The quaint mountain village of San Andres Coamihata is known as an important religious and political center for one of the few remaining indigenous tribes in the world – the Huichol Indians. The direct descendants of the Aztec Indians, the Huichol Indians are known to be friendly, religious, and highly traditional based on their 2000 year old history.

This tour is truly unique as it allows you to treat yourself to an introduction of the Huichol Indian rituals, customs, language, and way of living away from the modern world.

One of the better known Mexican Villages surrounding Puerto Vallarta, San Sebastian dates back to 1605.  A rich history includes San Sebastian as a prosperous city of over 30,000 people in the 1700′s.  Today, the village has only recently installed limited electricity and telephone service, keeping the quaint Old Mexico charm from centuries before.

This tour is by air, providing curious tourists with a bird’s eye view of the many elaborate waterfalls, mist-surrounded mountain peaks, dense forest, and primitive pueblos and settlements.

The popular, yet still “off-the-beaten-path,” Tequila Tour will take you north of Puerto Vallarta, passing through majestic mountains and scenic volcanoes. Rincon de Guayabitos is the tour’s first stop where tour guests indulge in a traditional Mexican breakfast. After breakfast, the tour continues to the colonial and picturesque Compostela, a colonial city in the Cactlan Valley, and then the lava fields of the Black Giant, or El Ceboruco Volcano. The Black Giant is an amazing sight- one of only nine active volcanoes in all of Mexico.

Dreamed of seeing the ancient pyramids of Ixtlan del Rio? Mexico’s famous round pyramids, these structures were built to honor Ehecatl, the God of Wind, thousands of years ago.

The final stop of the tour includes the Tequila factory, La Cofradia, where guests learn all about the process of making Tequila including the cultivation of the plant known as Agave Azul and the fermentation and distillation processes that result in Tequila.

Reservations required: Tequila Six Pack from Puerto Vallarta